Freedom by structure

herfstboom-2-132473After a quite serious storm last Monday, the trees have lost many leaves. Suddenly I can see the structure of the tree, the branches that are usually hidden by the leaves.

Makes me think of structure in general. Structure is often seen as the opposite of freedom. Structure can work as a coffin, as a prison. That’s how I experienced the structure of the village life in my youth. The only way out was another structure, the structure of religious life. So I started to study theology after high-school, embracing the only alternative I knew for the suppressing structure of village life.

Some years later moved to the Netherlands and tried to get rid of the religious structure too, to embrace freedom. It didn’t bring what I hoped for, I didn’t feel free at all. It felt like a falling leave, without any grip, subject to the moods the wind, of my surroundings.

It took me a while to realize that freedom is choosing my own structure! Isn’t that what art is all about? It shows people that there are other structures, that you have the freedom to choose. Like a bird can’t fly without the structure of its wings and feathers, like a tree needs branches to hold the leaves, I need structure to focus, to have a frame I can freely choose my next actions.

I’ve found my own structure years ago. I use them as support, it helps me to focus, to work, to enjoy, to feel free. Still, this fall makes me think. Do I need adjustments in my structure? It feels like it’s the season to ignore all bullshit and look at what’s really important to me.  I see that I don’t have found a structure yet in writing posts on this blog, maybe I should get it. Let’s observe first, and than see if and what adjustments would fit and would support me!

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