There is this sudden doubt about what I want with this blog. How do I want to continue? I’m a booking agent, the relationship with my artist is very different than the relationship I have with coach clients. Do I have to choose, or can I do both? What is it I really want? All that kind of questions and doubts. And we don’t live in a society where you talk about your doubts and self-consciousness, it’s been seen as week. Than there are care and worries about an old family member that kept me occupied. And it’s getting dark so soon. So I kept quiet.
Nothing has changed about it, except that I became aware that I’m not the only one who has to deal with this kind of periods. If I look at myself from a bit more distance, I suddenly do have the right answers. I decided to share this with you.
First the darkness. December and January are the darkest months of the year in the northern hemisphere, and many people can get a bit depressed by it. So let’s look at the bight side of it. It helps, if you use the daylight and get outside every day for at least half an hour. The daylight will help against winter-depression and will help you to produce vitamin D. Simple, right? And let’s make it cozy, lighten some candles, turn your worries into philosophical thoughts, and share them when you are ready. Enjoy some nice company, and take a book if you prefer to be alone.
Than the care of an old family member. When you fly, they give you emergency instructions. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others. It seems so logic and also so difficult to translate it to daily life. Taking care of myself, my own body, soul and life has to come first. It’s the only way I’ll be fit enough to help others, like the family member. Taking time for myself is part of it, the most difficult part if you take care of others.
Back to the part I was starting with, the thoughts and doubts. Actually, this is the ideal time to give it some philosophical thoughts, tucked away on the couch with a candle and a warm blanket. I don’t know the answers yet, but I have found a way to enjoy thinking about it.
And here some hurdles that pull me down in this period: keep sitting inside all day, running away from my doubts and thoughts by playing games or watching stupid tv series, using worry as an excuse to take care of others more than myself, hiding and feel pity for myself. The actions above help to fight this destructive forces! It’s getting dark again, let’s start with lighting a candle!