I hate it when I make mistakes. Somehow I expect myself to be perfect! I think that many people share this with me, though maybe not in this extreme form. For me it was so difficult to discover my own mistakes, that I didn’t re-read my work at school. It was better if others would discover them. As soon as the text was ‘out there’, it wasn’t mine anymore. I had enough distance.
I see this distance with many people who are performing, at a lecture or with an instrument on stage. They become another character as soon as they perform. And if they make mistakes, it is the mistake of the performing character, but not of them selves. The frightening thing about performing is, that the audience will notice every mistake immediately. So the performing character serves as a protection, like the invisibility cape of Harry Potter.
In the mean time, I still wonder why it’s so difficult to admit to myself that I make mistakes, that I’m just human, as everyone else. And why do we (the audience, the music business) expect performers to be perfect? Aren’t they just humans too?