Can you accept ‘no’, even when you are famous?

kaartenhuisWhat happens to people when they become famous? First they loose their privacy. I’ve seen it in an interview with the Greek president Tsipras the other day. He’s in politics since he’s a teenager. When asked what the biggest change was in his life when becoming president, the first thing he mentioned was the lack of privacy.

There’s more though. While Tsipras still lives in a middle-class apartment, most famous (and rich) people move to a gigantic villa, surrounded by other rich people in gigantic villas. Their horizon regarding friends and neighbors changes to people with their new status. They think that they can protect their privacy by protecting themselves from contact to ‘normal’ people.

Often, when you are rich and famous and still a bit insecure, you surround yourself with people who confirm you in everything you want, with yes-men. You employ them, so they are depending on your goodwill. They will bring your tea, they will tell you how great you are. And how more they tell you, how more you start to believe in it as well, in how charming you are, in how much better you are than the rest. You start to settle in your ivory tower, not able to seriously connect to other people anymore.

Even if you prefer to ignore them, there are still people who have their own mind and do not intimidated with your status. They even might say ‘no’ if you would ask them something. Imagine that they are around you, you feel threatened. You know that your ivory tower is actually a house of cards, ready to collapse over you.

Some rich and famous don’t accept it when they hear ‘no’ and have sex with women and girls without consent. That’s rape! Or they think that they can prevent hearing ‘no’ by drugging the girls first. That’s also rape! Yes, I’m talking about Bill Cosby, Jimmy Savile, Roman Polanski and many more.

And it’s so very easy to prevent becoming like that. A genuine interest in other people as person is the best way to prevent it. Open up, look for the needs of the other person. Making your own tea and bringing a cup to your cleaning lady too is OK, even when you are famous. Open up and share your insecurities and doubts with real friends. You will feel liberated, free from the ivory tower.





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